Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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