I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
