he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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