He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
