told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
