wakey wakey hands off snakey
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
