i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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