She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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