did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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