The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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