I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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