so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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