Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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