At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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