This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
