it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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