ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
