He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
