How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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