Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
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