Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
