i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
