Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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