i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
