ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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