how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
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