thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
