I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
