like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
