I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
do herpes really smell.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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