So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just gift wrapped bread.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
