its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
