somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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