Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
