Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
