drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
