my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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