just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
