So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
