carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
