you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
