I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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