Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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