i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Randomize
