He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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