Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
3 2 1 whiskey
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
