So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
