I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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