You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
did i just pee glitter
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
