Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
