I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
