He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
