He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
