i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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